Thursday morning, September 18
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The satsang opened with questions on dreams, sharing gratitude and destiny. The truth of ulladu led into Amma’s upadesa on pure existence, fullness, and surrender.
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The first question was read by Amma’s aide.
Question: Amma, I dreamt you told me: ‘look for that which has no experience.’ I said, ‘but consciousness experiences everything.’ You said, ‘look for that which is not experiencing anything.’ You often say nothing ever happened. How do I look into this? What am I being instructed to do?
AMMA: You should ask the Maa who came into your dream. (laughing). Yes, yes. Consciousness is the base of experience, but true experience is without an experiencer. If you ask ‘who is experiencing?’ no answer will come — even the question disappears. That answerless state is the answer.
In the dream itself, if such a question arises, it is a blessing. The Self itself is asking and drawing you inward. The question itself pushes you towards the answer. It is not our effort — the inner Self is leading.
Next, a young man spoke very sincerely with Amma.
Question: Because I am leaving today, I was trying to come up with some special way to thank you for everything. But it felt better to just take the mic and see what comes out. Amma, from my very first satsang I felt this is extremely rare. And I was blown away that I can be so fortunate to have this experience in your presence, to know that ‘nothing’ could be so beautiful — nothing and everything at once. The compassion I have felt here has no limits. Thank you.
AMMA: [Amma received his gratitude in silence, as he became emotional.]
Another question was then read aloud.
Question: Amma, one part of me says Realisation is possible anywhere, even in a big city. Another says being in a sacred place or near a Master is more effective, as sages have shown. I also fear that starting a family may hinder Realisation.
AMMA: Both are true. The Self is always present, wherever you are. But sometimes destiny places you in satsang, in Arunachala, or with a Master. Let life itself decide. A pure intention is enough; such things happen by themselves.
Question: Amma, is existence an illusion? After each kalpa, does only existence remain?
AMMA: Existence — what existence do you mean? If this existence is merely manifestation, then it is not real; the pure existence is real.
Yes — not just every kalpa; every time only that remains. In the scriptures there is a phrase, ‘neither existence nor non-existence.’ What does that mean? Bhagavan mostly used the word, ulladu, what is.
We often say ‘absolute,’ ‘nothing,’ ’emptiness,’ but Bhagavan always pointed to ‘what is’ — that alone is the truth. For Ramana Maharshi, ‘what is’ alone existed; there was nothing else to be emptied. Do you see?
Emptiness is a term for the mind; what he pointed to is fullness, poornam. His words were always about pure existence. What exists is the Atma. All other things have no true existence — that’s why he said, Ulladu Naapadu.
For the next 20 minutes, Amma then drew from Ramana’s _40 Verses on Reality – Ulladu Naapadu, at times singing from the parayana verses.
AMMA: So ‘what is’ alone is the truth, the Self.
Think also of the word hridayam — everything has a heart; it is the heart of everything. It is in that pure heart. Go into that cave of the heart — deep in the sense that the mind subsides into the heart. There nothing is seen, yet it is full. As he said, that ‘nothingness’ is so beautiful — it is not emptiness; it is complete.
If you go within, you will close your eyes; you will not be able to speak — the questioner will disappear. And what is, simply is — without any question, without any answer, without time, without space, without experience, without experiencer — neither existence nor non-existence in the relative sense. All our japa, tapas, Realisation, bondage — everything becomes play.
Self-realisation has two aspects. First is abidance — how do you know yourself? Simply by abiding as you are. The second is surrender: if you sense another self within, surrender it — surrender all fear of death to the fearless One, to the feet of the Self. That one will not have fear of death anymore; they have already attained eternity, the immortal nature of the Self. Will such fear return? No.
Amma finished with a smile and said: Because of this question on existence, I had to come to Ulladu Naapadu.